


Whatever happens, I'ma stand tall

by xoimadivaox



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: (and her feelings), (but not really), An unhealthy amount of Panic! At the Disco mentions, Emotional journey during Stand Tall, Gen, Grieving, Introspection, Julie and her thoughts, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:42:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27238240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoimadivaox/pseuds/xoimadivaox
Summary: She lets out one last fortifying exhale, glances at the ceiling, at the heavens, and then Julie starts playing.---Or, a deep look at Julie's thoughts and feelings during their performance at the Orpheum. That's it.
Relationships: Alex & Julie Molina, Alex & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie, Flynn & Julie Molina, Julie Molina & Luke Patterson, Julie Molina & Reggie
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	Whatever happens, I'ma stand tall

**Author's Note:**

> So! First JatP work up. With like. 2 more in the works. I swear to god, I started watching this show assuming it was going to be so bad and just some sort noise filler as I chatted with friends. Little did I know that instead, 3 dumb ghosts would just make themselves right at home in my brain. It's bad, y'all. I've got a bunch of my friends on the bandwagon and we haven't shut up about the damn show in 2 weeks. And I've listened to the soundtrack every day for 3 weeks. It's bordering on the unhealthy side of things. BUT I DON'T CARE.
> 
> ANYWAY! Obviously, any recognizable lyrics and dialogue were taken straight from the show.
> 
> Thanks to my friend Leaf for beta-ing this for me! <3

There's a lump in her throat as she walks on stage, clutching her pink dahlia with all of her might. She believes in signs, even more so since the boys appeared in her garage, but she’d bet her precious piano that the stranger who handed her the flower was sent by her mom to let her know that everything was going to be okay. But in the meantime, emotions are still waging a roaring war in her mind and her thoughts are spinning at a hundred miles an hour.

It's over. Her boys agreed to that club owner’s deal to save themselves. Julie and the Phantoms is no more, but Sunset Curve lives on. She'll see them again some day, she knows that now. But tonight, she'll go out there, open for Panic! At the Disco all on her own and dedicate her performance to the four most important ghosts in her life. She can do this. She’s Julie Freaking Molina for crying out loud! (And if her pep talk sounds like it’s coming from Luke in her mind, that’s for her to know and to dish to Flynn later tonight.)

“Welcome to _Live at the Orpheum_ ,” the announcer says as she steps up to her keyboard and there’s a tiny part of her brain that’s going “ _Holy shit!!! I’m playing at the Orpheum!!!_ ”. “Now give it up for Julie and the Phantoms!”

She smiles as the crowd politely claps for her and puts the dahlia down, her eyes scanning the VIP section until she finds her whole family cheering her on. She picks her mic up from its stand, takes a deep breath and lifts it up to her face.

“Hi. I’m Julie. Hm…” She’s nervous. By God would this be easier if she knew the boys were coming. After all, there is strength in number. “Tonight, I’d like to dedicate this song to my mom, who’s been there with me every time I’ve played.”

Is it too much? Maybe. Does the crowd care? Probably not. But she needs to say it, if simply for the fact that she doesn’t know if she’ll ever get another chance to do so.

“And thank her for…” she looks up past the ceiling as a sense of calm washes over her, “not giving up on me.” As Julie looks back down to the crowd, a quiet grief also swirls up in her chest. “I’d also like to dedicate tonight’s performance to… Three special friends who have changed my life completely, who have brought music back to me. It was their dream to play here, and this is for them. This song is for anyone who’s lost their way,” she announces. It’s fitting that, out of their repertoire, they chose to perform that particular track first. “Step into your greatness. Don’t give up. Stand tall,” she encourages the crowd before thanking them and settling her fingers on her keyboard.

She lets out one last fortifying exhale, glances at the ceiling, at the heavens, and then Julie starts playing.

_Don't blink  
No, I don't want to miss it  
One thing, and it's back to the beginning  
Cause everything is rushing in fast  
Keep going on never look back_

The lyrics wrap around her like a blanket. Alex’s soft, gentle smile flashes in her mind along with Reggie’s megawatt grin and rosy cheeks and Luke’s eyes sparkling mischievously.

_And it's one, two, three, four times  
That I'll try for one more night  
Light a fire in my eyes  
I'm going out of my mind_

And she is. She thinks that, had she not lost her mother a year ago, there’s no way she could stand on the stage tonight giving all she has as her heart is breaking apart once again. She’s had one hell of a year. She lost her mother, she almost lost the music program, she lost _herself_. It hurt. Horribly. But she’s finally feeling like she’s found her footing again, like the world is finally spinning the right way again. And tonight is meant to be a celebration of that, of her own growth and the boys’. How many fifteen year olds could still play the Orpheum after they lost three of their best friends, her full band, without crying themselves dry?

_Whatever happens  
Even if I'm the last standing  
I'ma stand tall  
I'ma stand tall  
Whatever happens  
Even when everything's down  
I'ma stand tall  
I'ma stand tall_

The chorus is painful to sing. It hits too close to home, but she powers through it. She is Julie Molina, lead singer of Julie and the Phantoms and she’s always going to be. She’ll always be the girl who sang in front of people with three ghosts playing with her while the world watched, unaware of what was really going on. Unaware that one of life’s big mysteries was standing right in front of them, bouncing around, strumming a guitar or a bass or wailing on a drum kit.

_I gotta keep on dreaming  
Cause I gotta catch that feeling_

Things are getting tough. The crowd is cheering, but she knows that usually, Alex would have already kicked in and the song would have already picked up. The audience was supposed to be going wild with the classic sound of Julie and the Phantoms but here she is, just a lonely teenage girl on a stage with a keyboard and recorded fireworks playing on a loop. She couldn’t even stop playing in order to dance around the stage. She should have thought this through. Should have pre-recorded some beats like she did for _Flying Solo_ , but it’s too late now. She just has to power through this and then… Well. Then she can ignore every single review of the show that comes in in the upcoming days.

_Whatever happens  
Even if I'm the last standing  
I'ma stand tall  
I'ma stand tall_

Is that…? She swears she can hear drums kicking in, but that doesn’t make any sense. When she glances toward the middle of the stage however, there’s Alex on his platform, smiling at her. It takes everything she has not to stop playing altogether. He’s alright! He’s here! She has so many questions to ask him, she doesn’t know if she’ll ever get to, but it’s official: Julie and the Phantoms, and by association Sunset Curve, is playing the Orpheum, baby!

She’s just about to launch the second verse when a bass line joins in with her keyboard and Alex’s drums and Reggie appears right next to her, his grin saying “ _What? You thought we’d leave you alone?_ ” and she adores it.

_Right now  
I'm loving every minute  
Hands down  
Can't let myself forget it, no  
Cause everything is rushing in fast  
Keep holding on nevеr look back_

She sees Alex and Reggie looking at each other and glancing at the horribly empty left side of the stage and Julie knows they’re thinking the same thing as she is: _Where’s Luke?_ As if that was enough to summon him, he appears as she starts singing the bridge for the second time, but it’s obvious something is wrong.

_And it's one, two, three, four times  
That I'll try for one morе night  
Light a fire in my eyes_

He flickers in and out as she sings with all of her might while Reggie and Alex can’t do much more than play their instruments harder and look at each other worriedly. Neither seems to do much to help Luke, but he has to know that they believe in him, that they need him with _them_ and not back at the Club.

_Come on Luke!_ Julie screams in her head and just then, Luke materializes on the Orpheum stage and this time, he _stays_.

“ _I'm going out of my mind_!” Luke sings and excitement courses through Julie’s entire body.

Without thinking, she grabs her microphone and bounds across the stage, barely even aware that Reggie has to jump out of her way and onto Alex’s platform. She wants to leap into Luke’s arms and never let go, but she holds herself back and stops in the middle of the stage to take him in, to fully appreciate the glory of Luke performing and being illuminated by the spotlights.

_Whatever happens  
Even if I'm the last standing  
I'ma stand tall  
I'ma stand tall  
_

Luke takes over the first half of the chorus and she quickly joins him for the second half, eager to showcase just exactly what Julie and the Phantoms can do.

_Whatever happens  
Even when everything's down  
I'ma stand tall  
I'ma stand tall_

Julie can’t help jumping in place as they play and sing. It’s nowhere near what she and Alex had spent time planning together late one night when she couldn’t sleep or what she had been doing when rehearsing the song before booking the gig but, she can’t help herself. She’s too full of energy and happiness at seeing her boys on stage with her after thinking it was all over. Jumping around is the only outlet her body finds satisfying.

_I gotta keep on dreaming  
Cause I gotta catch that feeling_

She pushes the note a bit farther than she usually does and then, with all of her spinning and bouncing, she finds herself in front of Reggie. Julie grins at him and he sends her back his trademark megawatt smile before they take a moment to rock the stage.

_Whatever happens  
Even if I'm the last standing  
I'ma stand tall  
I'ma stand tall_

She’s usually so wrapped up in performing with Luke that she sometimes forgets there are two other teenage boys up there with them, that they’re her friends too and deserve to have her time and attention just as much.

_Like I'm glowing in the dark  
keep on going when it's all falling apart  
Yeah I know it with all my heart  
Ooh, ooh  
Never look back_

Reggie follows her down the catwalk and it’s mind boggling to her that people are cheering and clapping for _them_. These people mostly came to see Panic! At the Disco, they expected a completely different opening act and _yet_. Here they are, screaming, following the beat, reaching out to touch her, maybe even try to touch Reggie despite him being a “hologram”.

She straightens up and moves to stand back to back with Reggie as Luke starts singing with her again. A small part of her brain is preoccupied with not leaning too far back lest she goes _through_ him as the guitar and bass wane and the drums stop altogether.

_Whatever happens  
Even if I'm the last standing  
I'ma stand tall  
I'ma stand tall_

She and Reggie turn around to walk back to the main stage as Alex stands up to sing his lines and she beams up at him with pride swirling up inside of her. Her grin brightens up even more when Alex nods and sends a shy smile her way.

_Whatever happens  
Even if I'm the last standing  
I'ma stand tall  
I'ma stand tall  
Stand tall  
Stand tall_

Reggie starts on the chorus before she joins him, then Luke and Alex, until their four voices rise through the air. And she knows that, when Flynn asks about it later on, she’ll never be able to fully describe the exhilaration of the moment. There’s an incredible amount of pride in them, in their work, in proving that they could do this. There’s an immeasurable amount of love too, because she loves those boys, she really does. They’re everything to her and it’s shocking how much they came to mean to her in such a short amount of time. They sing the chorus together one more time before Julie approaches Luke for what might just be their last moment in the spotlight together.

_I gotta keep on dreaming  
Cause I gotta catch that feeling_

_Whatever happens_  
Even if I'm the last standing  
I'ma stand tall

She smiles as Luke leaves his microphone to share hers and they move as a duo down the steps and the catwalk. Nothing will ever be as easy as performing with him, she thinks. She leans back onto him as they start the chorus one last time and as Alex and Reggie stop playing to join them in front of the crowd.

“ _I'ma stand tall!_ ”

They sing together for the last time and Julie watches as Alex and Luke clasp hands and she wishes she could hold Luke’s and Reggie’s hands too. It’s a strange feeling being so close to them, feeling like they’re a real band, considering them her best friends along with Flynn and yet being totally and completely unable to touch them in any way. God only knows how often she has wished she could offer them comfort in the form of a hug these past few weeks. They all looked like they could use one at one point or another. Fear starts to settle in her stomach as they glances at each other and bow together and a lump rises in her throat.

The crowd cheers and when she hears them gasp, she knows her boys will be gone when she straightens back up. Part of her doesn’t want to, part of her wants to stay bent over on that stage forever and pretend that they’re still here. She can almost hear the way Luke would make fun of her if she did that, stuck in the middle of the stage as Panic! At the Disco tries to perform around her. But, she knows she needs to face the music and go on without Luke, Reggie and Alex and so, she takes one good fortifying breath before she straightens up and yep.

Luke, Alex and Reggie are gone.

It’s a bittersweet moment. She should be elated, and some part of her is, but her heart hurts despite how long she’s spent trying to convince herself it was for the best, that they needed to cross over to protect themselves from the ghost club owner. She waves at everyone and offers a smile that’s tighter than it should be, her eyes scanning the crowd. She sees Carrie and her dad, spots Nick too, but doesn’t see the three faces she wants to see most, finding her family instead. It’s weird that her dad’s pride is not the one she wants to catch sight of, but she waves at them nonetheless, sends kisses to the crowd at large and salutes one last time before walking out.

Julie offers Flynn a thin smile and a slow shake of her head before she heavily heads down the stairs, hoping her best friend will get the message. She needs a moment, a few minutes on her own to process that the boys are gone and to swallow back her tears before she can join her family in the VIP section to enjoy the main event.

She’ll break down, she knows that, but she’ll hold on until she’s home, until she’s safe in her garage and curled up on the couch, clutching Alex’s pink hoodie, one of Reggie’s identical red plaid shirts and one of Luke’s sleeveless shirt to her chest and wearing her mother’s old bedazzled Sunset Curve shirt.

**Author's Note:**

> _And even if we hit the ground  
>  We'll still fly  
> Keep dreaming like we'll live forever  
> But live it like it's now or never..._


End file.
